pictures

So i figured out how to post the food pics, yep I'm pretty fast! OK so the pic i just posted is of my thanksgiving feast... a lot of food LOL. I'm pretty scared to post the foods but if I'm honest with myself I feel like this picture thing will help me stay on track and become the Jennifer I feel inside... the Jennifer who has been trying to tear out of this body I currently have!

get on track again

So a year has gone by and im once again in the same spot... I want it, I need it... i must do it. My will power sucks everything else is in line for me to succeed. I know how to eat, I know how to count calories, i know what a serving size looks like... free gym membership, support network... im the only thing holding me back.. So here I begin!!! Im going to try to figure out how to post pics from my phone directly and then post a pic of everything I eat.. good bad and ugly! accountability usually keeps me on track!

lost

I had 2 bad food days last week. I went to the OA meeting and commited to reporting weekly how many days I didn't overeat. They said they will bring me key tags or chips(plastic tokens) to celebrate the days.. Thankful for the women at the meeting!!! I feel good and hopeful that things are getting better for my body, mind and spirit!!

on again

I fell off the no sweets wagon through the holidays.. I only ment to have icecream at my family Christmas party and it rocketed from there. I ment to stop after dessert after Christmas dinner.... but that didn't happen. I joined a new group and today Monday January 4th is day 1 with no sweets.

Yes yes yes

It has been 14 days, yes 2 weeks since my last sweet eat!! it has been hard but easy at the same time. Change had to happen in this area of my life. enough pain came from my food obsession that it was becoming to much to bare.. I will keep on this. adding the gym back into my life now is my next step 4 times a week for 45min.

I think I can I think I can

4 days and counting... no sweet binges. I have to make changes and I have to make changes now my life depends on it. It has been hard but I have managed to take a baby step in the right direction for 4 days.. 4 days may not seem like much to some but for me its huge!! Right now I am focusing on not binging on food/ sweets being my main focus since that's where my biggest challenge lies. I feel good, headaches are not coming and my confidence is building.

confessions of a food addict

Today will be a positive day!!! I consumed 2 mini butterfingers 2 mini boxes of jr mints and 2 dark chocolate kisses... the good news is there was a whole pile of mini jr mint boxes and butterfingers... a 1/2 bag of kisses... i walked away before it all got way out of control...

OA

I have attended 3 OA (over eaters annonomous) meetings. I can't stop the food issues. I need no excuse to binge and over consume what ever food (usually sweet stuff) is around. once I start I cant stop, well untill I feel very sick. Food addiction is so hard. its not like you can just avoid food... I have to eat. I want to be able to stop... have just 1... not feel ashamed about my binges. I dont perge.. I just binge.. keep all that food in me.. I end up feeling sick most of the time... I want it to end... God please remove my obsession with food.

once again.. I am a food addict. out of control.. forever

Its been a while since I have posted here.. I have a serious food addiction. i hate this cycle of over eating, telling myself I wont do it again, finding my self doing it again...feeling so ashamed, wondering why I cant stop, I know what I need to do to change my weight ... I just cant get there. i feel alone and very lost. I got in a bath tub today.. usually shower. When I looked down at the squishy, ewww, that should be my belly area I wanted to cry. I there, in the tub told myself today would be different.. I would try, and when i wanted to gorge myself i would remember how much I hate that squishy large belly area..... I did it anyway, i came to work and got 3 large hand fulls of assorted candy and rapidly consumed it all, the whole time telling myself to stop... I just don't get it.

good food

I discovered steel cut oats....yummy goodness. they fill you up and are a whole grain. I have been focusing on food for fuel and not food for feelings and I feel good about how im doing right now. I plan on working on a more natural diet... good bye fake sweeteners or should i say prosessed sweeteners. sugar, splenda, high frutcose corn suryp... i want to be healthy!!!

yeahhhhhhh

well my weigh in was great....230.0 so that means i lost 1.8lbs this week!!!!!!!

doin it

I really feel good about how I ate this week. I went to the gym and feel like im seeing results. I usually do better with my eating if I go to the gym, I get a free golds pass as a job perk so I use the gym free!! I also find that on the days I go to the gym I eat better through out the day/night. Well I weigh in on fridays so I will post my new weight soon.

ready set go NOW

I have been back to weight watchers and I am doing ok, the gym is back in my life and I am making progress... 231.5lbs now...... posted the lovely ewwwww part of my body here so I can look at them and remember why my love for food is causing me so much pain. Now I feel like this is possiable to loose. I just lack the willpower to think eating through befor I put the food in my mouth.. the regret always happens after i indulge, chew, swallow......oh no I did it again.

No really....